Exterminate Exterminate!

Today I got up at the unearthly hour of 5.30. Rather too early for a Saturday morning if I do say so myself. I hopped on a coach with 2 diseased men (don't worry I did it of my own free will and they happened to be my OH and his mate¹) and headed for London. Our goal for today was to go and see the Dr Who exhibition at Earls Court before it closed down. We'd already had one near miss the weekend before and had had a reprieve (it was supposed to close on the 17th). We'd been told by friends that we'd LOVE it and we should definitely go and see it before it closed.

Our friends were spot on. I felt a bit like a kid in a candy shop cooing over all the models and costumes and even gave in to the temptation to impersonate a Dalek! They had a little Dalek with a microphone inside that kids could stick their heads in a Dalek and wiggle the plunger and egg whisk whilst shouting exterminate into the voice changer. I made it laugh manically like that deranged Dalek in this year's season finally whilst my other half made it order a Big Mac and fries. By far the funniest though was the bloke who swept his kids aside stuck his head in the Dalek and went "exterminate, exterminate!... Wow I'm talking like a Dalek... hehehe!" He was most definitely taking the opportunity to embrace his inner child. Sadly his children didn't see it that way and were giving him that look that all children with embarrassing parents do. The one that says dad will you stop being an a*se you're embarrassing us!

I also loved the fact that when we walked back to Earls Court Tube there was a real life police box waiting for us! I went all touristy then and we had to have a picture next to it!

The exhibition's on until 9th November so if you want to go then hurry up: Book now to avoid disappointment 

1.That's mate of the friend persuasion not lover before you go getting any funny ideas. Although I have given him the nickname of "gym life-partner" given that they have joint membership (it was cheaper so why not?!)

Yargh the force be unleashed

As I blog my OH is sitting next to me playing happily on his new game for Playstation 3. He's spent the last week playing the demo of Stars Wars: The force Unleashed and pining for the full version. Luckily it was his birthday the other day so one of this mates (with a little help and hinting from me) reserved him a copy and gave him a gift voucher towards it.

I have to say it is rather a good game and reviews online were pretty good from the looks of it too. Although my OH now seems to have developed a like for picking people up by their throats and throwing them off the tops of buildings (that's the last time I leave him alone with Mr Vader while I make us a drink!).

Elsewhere in the world this mortal has been coming back up from a pretty depressing low. I won't bore you with the details suffice to say if you read yesterday's blog then you'll know why. One thing that has cheered me up though was spotting on my Zemanta feed that it's International Talk Like a Pirate Day and the people over at facebook have very kindly made facebook ever so piratey!

Gone but not forgotten

Today has been a pretty fraught day today. I awoke feeling gloomy remembering  yesterday's interview and not having gotten the job. I mustered some spirit to switch on the laptop and check for more jobs and to think about filling out the application forms I'd still got to fill in for another job and the interview I have on Tuesday.

I'd just about perked myself up when I got a phone call. It was from one of the school's I'd assumed that the boat had sailed on when it came to interviews. They rang and said that it was really short notice but could I make an interview tomorrow. I paused for a second and said would it be O.k. to phone back only I had to check transportation arrangements. They said yes and said "oh and we'd like you to read a 30 minute story to a group of children you can use your own resources like puppets and things". Flashes of panic went through me and I could feel my blood pressure rising. I should be happy I had another interview right? Well I would be if they'd asked me any other day than today and if they'd given me more time.

I've spent the rest of today stressing over whether or not to say yes to it or not because I felt so under pressure and ill-prepared for it. I ended up saying no because it was hiking my stress levels practically to the same levels that they'd been before I'd had to defer my course. I tried to get myself back on track again by filling out the medical forms so I could get them in the post but that just depressed me further because I have to somehow explain I've been depressed without sounding like I could fall apart at any moment.

As if today couldn't be any more depressing, it marks the date 4 years ago that my granddad passed away.  It's true what some people say about not realising what you've got till it's gone. He's left such a big hole in my life that I just don't know how to fill it. He died the day before I started university. I was packed off on my own to uni where I spent a week trying to cope with grief on my own with no friends. Making friends is hard to do when you're grieving and feel so alone and all you wish is that you could be at home with your family. I don't think I've ever properly had time to grief for him and I never will. Everyone else in my family seems to have moved past where I am and I can't talk to them about it. Especially my Nan. She has a new man now and she seems to be trying to rid her life of all things related to my grandad. What feels worse is that I used to be able to talk to her because she was alone too. We held each other together. But now she seems to have given herself permission not to do that. She told me when I visited her last that I'd told her that she had him now so she didn't need to talk to me as much. I don't ever remember saying that and if I did I never meant it I just wanted her to feel O.k.

I want to know when life is going to be good to me. There were two things that made me feel slightly happier today. My OH because he always makes me smile no matter what and a Post Secret card I found on an archive site that said something along the lines of "every story has a happy ending. If you're not happy yet then it's not the end". I'm keeping my fingers crossed that what they said is true.

On the dole again

Again today's blog is incredibly topical. I'm probably beginning to sound like a broken record talking about unemployment but when you've got no money and no job it's hard to positive about the job market.

I had another interview today. It was for a teaching assistant's post. The school was nice and I was feeling rather positive about my interview. I'd asked questions while I was given a tour and I think I asked meaningful ones whilst I was being interviewed. This time round I got to meet the competition. We were given a group tour. I was up against 2 women both of whom were older than me in their late 30's and early to mid 40's. One was the mother of one of the boys at the school and the other already a TA at another school. A real mixed bag. I felt a little like the experienced TA was favoured a little more on our tour. The person giving us the tour focused most of her dialogue towards her. I was the only one to ask questions on the tour.

Unfortunately I wasn't successful which made me rather down. This was mainly because they gave me feedback and part of that was about how I'd handled questions about me leaving a course I was on. That's a bit of an open wound subject with me still as the reasons surrounding it were the reasons for my stress and depression. Getting a job is supposed to be helping me to mend and to conquer it but at the moment it feels like the depression is what's holding me back from getting a job because it's putting employers off of me.

Having been crumpled by the discovery that I'd failed to get the job I decided to try and cheer myself up by popping my laptop on a looking for something to distract myself only to discover from the news feed on my OH's website¹ that unemployment has risen again in the U.K.² Just what I need. More people going after the jobs I want. It's hard enough loosing out to the few people I have come up against. Although apparently I have a very good application to interview ratio. It's practically 1/2. All I need to do now is work on the interview to job offer ratio.

Apparently the number of people claiming job seeker's has gone up 32,500 to 904,900². It's 904,901 in actuality at least as I'm unemployed but I've not claimed job seeker's yet. I bet there are tons more people out there like me as well. Maybe they should give jobs out on a first come first serve basis. I've got to be further up the queue than the 32,500 who've just joined. Although I don't fancy being number 872,401 in the queue!

 

Oh and happy birthday OH ;)

 

 

1. He has his own little portal site which is very useful indeed. Add it to your favourites if you like and if you spot a site that's not up on there give us a bell and I'll get him to add it!http://homepage.ntlworld.com/r.acton4/
2. BBC NEWS | Business | UK unemployment total rises again

The past, present and the future

Yesterday is History; Tomorrow a Mystery; Today is a Gift, that's why it's called the Present.

The independent ran an article¹ today on researchers discoveries about why we get less excited about presents the older we get. I thought this was quite topical considering it's my partner's birthday tomorrow and he'll be turning the grand old age of 35. According to the article it all hinges on how our brain handles rewards². Apparently 'scientists have discovered that a chemical in the brain governing the delivery and feeling of reward is altered physically as a person grows old'¹ and this is meant to explain why opening presents is less exciting the older you get.

It sounds credible I suppose that your brain does effect how you react to gifts and I'm sure everyone can admit to it not being as fun opening your presents on Christmas morning as it was when you were a child. I know I miss haring downstairs³ to dive into your pile of gifts that Santa had left. Maybe it's not just about the chemicals though; maybe it's just that our priorities change.

I've entered a stage now in my life where I ask for practical gifts of things I need. Last Christmas I got a vacuum cleaner and for my birthday the previous year I asked for a tumble dryer. All very practical presents which are very hard to get excited over. I did attempt to attempt to resurrect the childhood scene of playing with my presents on Christmas day by trying to Hoover the lounge carpet but that didn't go down so well with those occupying the lounge at the time. Whilst the gifts become less exciting they can I think become more meaningful.

Of course that all depends on what you're given. We've all had those presents that you've opened and wondered how on earth that person thought that gift would be appropriate to give to you but done the obligatory smile and uttered those immortal words of 'oh, that's lovely thank you'. If a gift is well thought out and chosen carefully with the person in mind then it will bring joy upon opening. Perhaps not the grabbing the ripping of childhood but a much deeper form of appreciation.

The older you get the more you look for gifts outside of the monetary and material. I've found the older I've got ⁴  the more i've appreciated the things that money cannot buy like having friends and family and a partner who loves me. And who says that I can't be excited about those gifts. I practically smiled myself to sleep after my first date with my partner. One of the greatest gifts I can think of is the gift of another life. How many new parents have you seen going gaga over their new gift?

 

So maybe it isn't just children that get excited over gifts. Maybe it's just that adults have didn't ideas about what a gift is and means. We've so many things to be excited about and to be thankful for. Like the saying goes. Today is a gift, that's why it's called the present. What do you have to be thankful for today.

 

1. Why presents become less exciting as you get older - Science, News - The Independent
2. Wow you don't say! I could have told them that without them spending any of my tax money. Does this mean that I hate exercise because my brain doesn't see it as rewarding, just exhausting?
3. Well maybe slowly plodding I was hardly an enthusiastic child having just woken up. For me the day doesn't start properly until about 3 hours after I've woken up so don't expect much of me pre-brunch.
4. Haha yes I know I'm only 22 and I'm making myself sound like an 82 year old but as my sister says I'm a granny at heart.

Neighbours

Are you just that ever so little bit nosey like me and wonder what your next door neighbours house looks like on the inside? Hmm I thought so. I'm inquisitive about other things too.

Today I decided to have a nose and see who my next door neighbours were on blogger. I discovered one of 2 things. The first was that my neighbours seem to be foreign and the second was that if I refreshed then I got new neighbours. If only it were that simple offline. Don't like you're neighbours? O.K. nip back indoors and then when you pop back outside you'll have a new set. Wouldn't that be great! Of course there is a distinct possibility of that happening to me given one set of neighbours have their house up for sale.

Relationships with neighbours are odd things. When I moved house with my parents when I was five the neighbourhood was quite young so everyone was quite friendly and welcomed each other in. Over the years people came and went and there is only one set of neighbours who have stayed. The old neighbours you stay friends with but you don't seem to talk now since the children have grown and moved out and the new ones you pass on the street and say hi to (or complain at because their dog's peeing on your lawn) but you never really make that connection with like you did when the neighbourhood was new.

Nowadays even when the neighbourhood is new people don't seem to talk anymore. They keep themselves to themselves and that's that. I can always remember my Nan coming out with that classic phrase of 'back in the days when you could leave your back door open'. Back then people used to talk, they used to look after one another. I doubt now whether my neighbours would batter an eyelid if they saw someone going into my house that didn't look familiar or notice if they'd not seen me in a while. The sense of community has died.

I sometimes wonder whether that's the reason why so many people suffer from depression now. It's a saddening feeling loneliness. I wonder how many people would be cured if their neighbour just went round and knocked on their door and nattered for just ten minutes every week?

What should I blog about

Have you ever done something and then wish you hadn't? My guess is that you're probably nodding right now and thinking ' yes and far too many times too'.

When I'm stuck for something to write I go on a little trawl of the interweb to search for what other people have blogged about or what they think are good topics to blog on. Unfortunately I came across a blog post ¹ about all the things that it's not good to blog about! Or maybe it's fortunate I don't know. Apparently I'm not supposed to give and hourly account of my day; blog about my pets; or my dislike of my future in-laws (I actually love them to bits so that's not a problem); complain about the lack of comments on my blog or apologise for being too busy to blog.

I'm probably guilty of at least 3 of those. I'll let you guess which 3 they are but you're you probably know already. Not that I know you're reading as you never comment (oops I've broken rule number 4 again!). Personally I don't really care. I mean my blog is for me primarily if I want to tell you what my goldfish has eaten today then I should be allowed to. If someone wants to read what I've posted and likes what I've written then fine and I'm glad they've liked reading it too but I'm not going to make my blog about what everyone else wants to hear otherwise it'll just bore me and If I'm bored then everyone else definitely will be. Of course that doesn't stop me being vain and  secretly wanting to be read.  Deep down everyone wants to be heard.

 

1. http://weblogtoolscollection.com/archives/2006/12/17/things-you-should-avoid-blogging-about/